written by Daniel Olexa

If you’re a leader today, you’re probably asking yourself, “Is THIS what I signed up for?”

Navigating uncertainty used to be just one challenge of leadership—now it feels like the whole job description.

There’s a good chance you’re waking up each morning having more questions than answers:

• “Is the direction I’m taking still relevant?”

• “Will this decision hold up next quarter?”

• “Is this even worth it to me?”

These aren’t just business questions. They’re existential.

The Emotional Cost of “Holding It All Together”

Let’s talk about what no one wants to admit: Uncertainty doesn’t just affect your strategy. It affects your sense of self, and that effects your energy and how you show up.

The old model of leadership says that you’re the expert: You’re expected to know, to decide, to lead with vision.

But what happens when even your intuition feels scrambled? That’s when you start questioning every decision.

What I’m hearing in practically every conversation with leaders are these three themes:

• Fractured. Like the confident part of them is still showing up in the room, but underneath it, something has cracked. 

• Exhausted. Not just tired, but soul tired. From the pressure to perform, reassure, pivot, repeat.

• Disconnected. From their own values, their team, their purpose… and sometimes, from themselves.

Here’s the part that’s tough:

No one’s talking about this publicly. Because leaders aren’t supposed to struggle. We’re supposed to have the answers and be stable foundation for others.

How Strong is the Oak?

Oak trees are a great metaphor for stability and leadership.

They’re grand – the provide shade and comfort; they’re strong – broad trunks and branches that stand up to the strongest winds…but they have one weakness: their roots.

When my wife and I lived in Naples, FL I noticed a trend in the local news. Every time a strong storm blew through from the Gulf, we’re talking gale-force winds here, the next morning a reporter would be featured next to a tall oak tree that was knocked over in the winds.

They would invariably stand in front of the tree’s root network. The diameter of this network would be 8-10+ feet, while the reporter was a little over 5 ½ feet tall. 

“Look at the roots of this tree that was toppled last night.” Yeah, from the bottom, the contrast was impressive…but if the reporter was being honest, they would have taken their shot from the side of the roots.

That 10-foot diameter of roots was merely inches thick from the side, because of the high water table in Florida. The tree found the water it needed to survive just inches below the surface. It went broad instead of deep for nutrition.

That was not enough to keep it standing when the environment became chaotic.

What does this mean for you?

Your stability is found and created by going within yourself to reconnect to your values, remember to your personal purpose, and center yourself deeply in your identity rather than in the surface mask of your role/title.

The Shift

What today’s challenges are asking for isn’t rigid confidence.

They’re requiring something deeper: clarity.

Clarity isn’t about having every answer. It’s about knowing who you are while the answers are still forming.

That’s the shift—away from performative strength, toward authentic inner alignment.

And it’s not easy. Especially when you're surrounded by noise, pressure, and performance expectations that punish pause.

So Where Do You Go with This?

Unless you pause and take time for yourself to create your own stability, you will be the victim of the winds; always feeling the push and knowing you are one gust away from toppling.

That’s no fun, and it’s not productive.

And until you find a way to reconnect—to yourself, to your values, to your truth—you’ll keep spinning. You’ll keep questioning every decision. You’ll keep losing energy trying to be “the version of you” that others need… instead of being the whole leader you already are.

Stable Leadership Starts Inside

I’m going to ask you to give yourself 3 gifts. They’re easy on one level, but may be difficult on another.

They are:

1. The gift of personal, quiet time. At least 15 minutes every day without distraction or interruption. This is your time to practice selfishness, putting your needs first…if you prefer, you can call it ‘self-care.’

Choose the best time of day for you, and block this time in your calendar. Make an appointment with yourself and do not reschedule it. Treat it like the most important meeting of your day, because it is.

1. The gift of letting go. During this time, let go of your perceived responsibility to anyone and everything else. The world will still be there when you come back.

Whatever you’re carrying from the day, the week, the month, the year, the decade…from life, give yourself permission to put it down. If you want to pick it back up later, you can. That’s your choice.

Once you have set the weight down, take a breath and notice how your body feels. Breathe deeply and scan your muscles. What has changed? How do you feel when you are out from under that burden? How much energy had it taken to carry it? What’s possible for you now that you have freed up that bandwidth?

The third gift is often the most difficult, but a gift cannot be given unless you allow yourself:

1. The gift of receiving. When you release what was, you make room for what can be. 

Continue in the stillness. Reconnect to your ideals, your values, your truth.

Ask yourself:

• What do I value most? What brings me joy?

• What do I want to accomplish in this life? How do I want to be remembered?

• Who do I need to be to make that happen?

The answers to these questions will reconnect you to your values, dreams, and truth. They will help you to become deeply rooted and grounded so that you are no longer at-effect to the winds of chaotic times.

You deserve this time and this experience for yourself. Give it – and receive it.

Clarity in self.

Because the moment you come back into alignment, that’s when your real power returns, and your confidence with it.

Teams feel it. Cultures shift. Strategy stabilizes. All because one leader dared to stop believing the old lie that they had to hold it all together—and chose, instead, to come back to center.

Because in this new era, the leaders who thrive aren’t the ones who have all the answers.They’re the ones who have the courage to come home to themselves.

A Little Bonus

Here is my gift for you to further explore receiving and reconnecting to your deeper truth: The Art of Receiving. You can download your copy here: https://www.transcendentliving.com/the-art-of-receiving

Daniel Olexa, MCC, CIHt